We all have asked this question at one point or another, why do I feel broken?
Many practical answers were given to the why we feel it and how to overcome this feeling, but I would like to propose a different approach.
What if that feeling of being broken is actually the beginning of a life changing process for you?
What if this is the first step to a spiritual awakening?
What if that feeling means that you are ready to explore different aspects of life?
Are you brave enough to explore where this road might lead you?
Where Does The Feeling Come From?
“Sit with the pain until it passes, and you will be calmer for the next one.” – Naval Ravikant
In a nutshell, the feeling of being broken comes from shattered expectations we had of our life and the world in general.
In our heads we imagine how we wanted our lives to go and when it becomes obvious that this is not going to happen, our hopes and expectations crush making us feel like we are broken.
What you hoped would happen falls apart and you feel pain and suffering.
In a sense, you do not recognize your life anymore, the life you hoped to have.
But, this is not a bad thing.
This shattering of expectations can propel you towards deep discovery of wholeness and fulfillment if you don’t resist it.
It all starts with embracing this feeling of being broken.
How To Embrace This Feeling?
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” – Marcus Aurelius
So here is the deal.
We had expectations of our reality and the reality did not turn out the way as expected and now we feel broken.
But have you ever considered the possibility that our expectations were wrong?
Think about it for a minute.
We have access to a very limited perception.
We do not know the future, we do not know the implications that our expectations would have on us and everyone else.
When we have expectations, we are basically guessing that what we think is best for us and others and hope that we are right.
But, in a grand scheme of things, considering the past and future implications to us and everyone in the world, what are the chances that the expectations that we have come up with in our limited scope of perception are right?
Statistically, probably close to none.
So, why do we continue having expectations even though we do not really know what we want or what will give us the life that we want?
Well, the answer is probably our ego.
Our ego wants autonomy and it is making that decision for us and convincing us that this is right and correct.
But what if we were to get rid of expectations?
What if we were to let go of the control that we think we have in our lives?
If you managed to do that, you would never feel broken again.
But chances are, this will take some practice.
In the mean time, how do we embrace this feeling?
By not resisting it, by understanding the importance of it and by allowing the process to take you where you need to go.
Your external reality, or the expectations of it has shattered but it opened up a road to internal reality.
Follow that path.
Allow yourself to be led deep inside and discover what lays beneath the external world.
Fear will most likely accompany you from now on for a while.
Eliminating or reducing fear should be the focus as fear is not beneficial, ever.
How To Eliminate Fear When I Feel Broken?
“When suffering happens, it forces us to confront life in a different way than we normally do.” – Philip Yancey
If you feel broken, you are most likely experiencing fear.
Reducing or eliminating fear all together should be your focus to allow maximum benefits of your experience.
Follow the below suggestions to eliminate fear:
1. Understand the process
If you do not understand the process, the feeling is quite scary. But the second you realize what is actually happening, that only the fake self is broken and the tremendous opportunity this offers you for advancing on your spiritual journey, this makes all the difference. Now you know that you can use this stage of your life to explore so much more. Now you know that there is nothing wrong with you and that this feeling of being broken is an invitaion to hidden until now dimensions.
2. Have faith in the process
Understanding the process is step one, having faith in it is step two. I have developed a blind trust in the process so no matter how broken or scared I felt I was holding on to my faith and that made it so much easier. Life will also test you. If you think you have faith but really don’t, life has a way of putting you through circumstances and situations that will expose the truth.
3. Seek guidance
There are many spiritual guides out there. You may seek one that resonates with you. Sometimes, spiritual guides could be a book. Look for books or videos that will ease the uncomfortable feelings of fear during the transition period. My best guide was actually a book called A Course In Miracles. I cannot imagine going through life without it and the wisdom contained in those pages.
4. Quiet your mind
It always comes down to being able to clam your mind. And by calming your mind, I mean learn to observe what is happening in your mind instead of participating in every little thought that passes your mind. If you can learn that, your life will change 100%. You will be able to remain calm in any and all situations and circumstances. You will become much more peaceful and happy. The external world will tempt you and try very hard to get you engaged in every little thing that comes into your awareness. Learning how to quite your mind is probably the single most important skill that you can learn in life.
5. Practice ignoring fear
I know how that sounds.
This is extremely hard at first.
When my heart is pumping so hard that I think it will leave my rib cage or my body is being destroyed with anxiety, you want me to ignore that?
Yes, that is correct.
There were times when the fear and anxiety was so intense that I thought I would die on the spot.
I sat in my chair, closed my eyes and let it happen.
The second you are able to release the resistance to what is happening to you in the moment, the second you will feel relief.
So yes, I want you to ignore fear and anxiety and any other uncomfortable feelings.
Do your best and with time you will get better and better at it.
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.” – Paulo Coelho
I hope you have enjoyed the article. I hope I was able to convince you to look differently at the feeling of being broken. Please give it a try and you will see that something that feels so terribly wrong when not properly understood is actually a beautiful opening to a wonderful journey inside. By having our expectations crushed we have opened a new doorway to a different perspective of life, a much more enjoyable perception. Have the courage to go through that door regardless of how strong these feelings currently are. Try the suggested method to reduce fear but if that does not happen, do not let fear stop you. You are not here by a chance, you are here because you are ready for more.
I would love to hear from you. Your opinions, suggestions, questions. Please leave them in the section below.
“We can learn and change in a state of pain and suffering, or we can evolve in a state of joy and inspiration.” – Joe Dispenza
***If you have spotted a spelling error or an inconsistency, please contact me so I can fix it.***