How To Stop Looking For Love Outside Of Yourself?

Our whole life seems to be about trying, fighting, and searching for something.

But, what if it doesn’t need to be?

But, what if what we are looking for we already have but don’t know it’s there?

What if the love that we are all yearning for is already in us, what if it is us?

So how to stop looking for love outside of yourself?

Related: What Happens When I Close My Eyes?


Why Is Everyone Searching For Something?

“Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.” ― Rumi

Everyone in this world is searching for something.

If they were not, they would not be here.

We have forgotten who we truly are and instead have created an image of ourselves.

This image that we have created feels unloved and incomplete and it goes into the world always searching for what it thinks it’s missing.

Not realizing that it already has everything and is everything.

This limited image feels lonely and unloved.

And instead of spending time looking inside to find what is already there, it seems to look to other things and other people in the world to give it what it thinks it’s lacking.

But the other people are in the same boat, they are experiencing the same struggle.

They are also searching for what they think is missing.

How could they possibly try to give it to you if they don’t have it themselves?

They are searching for it just as much as you are.

And this mad dance goes on and on and on.

Related: How Not To Feel Lonely?


How To Break The Pattern?

“Why are you knocking at every other door? Go, knock at the door of your own heart.” ― Rumi

So what can we do to break this insane pattern?

Basic logic; you would not go into the forest to look for seashells.

So why are we searching for love where it is not?

We have to find a way to stop looking for support and love in places where it is not.

We have to stop looking for love in those that don’t have it to give because they have never received it themselves.

If you think this sounds like madness, it really is.

But most people are doing it.

The first thing that you can do is to stop asking anyone to be that for you when they cannot even be that for themselves.

Instead, we have to go inside and find what we are searching for there.

Easier said than that.

When I feel lonely and unloved how do I go inside to look for it?

I guess this requires a completely different approach.

Instead of searching for what you lack, you have to become that.

Let me say that again: You Have To Become What You Are Searching For in order to receive it.

You will have to start spreading around you the love that you are searching for yourself.

So in a sense, you will have to ignore what you think you are feeling and start being what you are searching for.

If you are able to do that, amazing things will start happening in your life.

If you start spreading love and support you will find yourself surrounded by people that do the same.

Alternatively, if you go looking for love and support in other people, you will find yourself surrounded by people that do the same; seek love and support.

You can feel the difference when we think of our animals.

Many of us have experienced the pure, unconditional love of an animal. 

We have it too, we are it.

We are pure, unconditional love believing that we are so much less.

In addition, you would be doing a great service to the world.

The world is sad with a lot of lonely people.

We can be that light for them.

We can show them the way.

Love is free and unconditional.

We are losing nothing but gaining everything by giving love away and spreading it into the world.

Instead, we are gaining everything: we are receiving what we are giving.

Related: How To Transcend Reality?


How To Stop Looking For Love Outside Of Yourself?

To find love inside, we need to stop identifying ourselves so much with our physical form and learn to know ourselves as the nonphysical ourselves; the spirit.

If we can find a way to merge the two aspects of ourselves, we can live our physical lives fully aware of who we truly are: spirits temporarily occupying our physical bodies.

Most people know that conceptually but not practically.

If you are able to take on the truth about yourself, that you are a spirit first and foremost, you get to relax.

You can give up the struggle, the fighting, the trying, the searching, and just relax in the truth about yourself.

When you know who you truly are, you know that everything physical can change in a blink of an eye.

You first take the responsibility for seeing the world the way that you do and secondly understand that you can choose differently.

You can decide with your mind to see a world of light and pure love instead.

You are the one to transform the world from within by changing yourself.

Once you changed within you will see the changes reflected in the outside world and you will experience a completely different version of the world than you are used to.

Related: How To Choose Joy?


Choose Light Over Darkness

We are light, but we see ourselves as darkness.

Can you find the light by analyzing darkness or by acknowledging the darkness?

No, you cannot.

Nothing will change until this is understood.

Once the understanding is there, the change will begin by perceiving light.

Once you start perceiving more light, that will translate into sureness by continually and increasingly perceiving more light.

Choose to see light over darkens, woman
Choose to see light over darkness.

Results are always more convincing than words, and you will see more results as your perception continues to perceive more light than darkness.

Give up the fight for survival and identify with the part of yourself that knows that survival is assured.

But not the physical aspect of you; that will go at some point.

But it doesn’t matter, because that is not what and who you are.

Feel this truth and relax in it.

Stop paying so much attention to what is happening around you.

Be selective of your attention and learn to move beyond your egoic needs.

Nothing ever comes to you that your higher self didn’t feel was the best next thing for you.

It’s time to let go of separation, fear, judgment, and resistance because those are the things that keep you away from realizing your own true identity.

It’s time to stop looking outside for what we already have inside.

You are love, so be the love that transforms every single being that is in your path.

Be the example to the world in order to change the world.

Stop looking for love outside of yourself and realize that you are love.

Related: What Is Divine Love? – And How Can We Reach It?