We all had those days when out of the blue you start feeling uncomfortable.
All of a sudden, there is an unsettling feeling at the bottom of your belly, and you can’t seem to shake it off.
At first, you try to ignore it, but it just won’t go away.
Instead, the discomfort seems to be getting bigger and worst until it feels like pain.
You try to put your finger on it, but you can’t.
In more extreme cases, the pain becomes unbearable.
Nothing specific hurts, but you are just in pain.
This is emotional pain.
Let’s explore together how to get rid of emotional pain?
This pain has many names: emotional pain, psychological pain, or mental pain, but regardless of what we call it, we are all familiar with it.
We all have tried to find out more than once how to get rid of this pain.
We find it so unpleasant that we constantly look for ways to eliminate it.
We try to hide it by doing the following:
We get very creative in finding new ways to mask this pain.
It is very rarely that we pause for a minute and ask ourselves what is this annoying pain and why we have it?
Why were we made in a way that we experience emotional pain?
There must be a reason for it.
Step 1 – Understand Your Emotional Pain
“All problems are illusions of the mind” – Eckhart Tolle
Why do we experience emotional pain?
At first glance, it doesn’t seem to be doing anything or serving a purpose other than to make our lives uncomfortable.
But there is a reason for it.
A really good reason but you will have to explore and dig deeper to find it.
You will have to look the emotional pain straight in the eyes to find out the reason for its existence.
If you take the time to ask questions and explore answers instead of focusing on eliminating the pain, you will find that the emotional pain is a guidance system for us.
Most of us are not aware or conscious of our thoughts. We go through our days and nights not paying any attention to our minds and the thoughts in our heads.
We allow our minds roam free unaware of the impact they have on our lives.
I already talked about our thoughts creating our feelings and emotions. You can read more about that here.
Our thoughts create our feelings.
Since we are unaware of our thoughts most of the time, our feelings including emotional pain are our guides into our minds.
They are indicators sending signals to check in with our minds.
It is easy to ignore our minds and our thoughts but not so easy to ignore the emotional pain caused by them.
This is a brilliant system. When properly understood it can be used to turn our lives around.
Step 2 – Use your emotional pain as a guide
“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”― John Milton, Paradise Lost
Don’t be afraid of the emotional pain.
This is an intelligent signaling system alerting you and directing you to pay attention to what is going on in your head.
Abraham Hicks uses a clever analogy for this.
When you are driving a car and your fuel light goes on because you are almost empty, you do not start crying and cursing and lamenting over the signal, you are in fact grateful for the warning so that you can do something about it.
Your emotional pain is like the fuel light. A signal that something has gone wrong in your mind but there is still time to do something about it.
Why are we so resistant to the signals?
Because we do not understand them.
We were never taught what they mean and what can we do about it.
We have a brilliant system built within us but we never use it because we do not know how.
This is an underutilized resource that most people have no idea exists.
And yet, it is so acute that it cannot be missed.
When the signal comes in the form on an emotional pain, it cannot be ignored.
It grabs our attention immediately; the problem is we do not understand what it means.
Realizing the truth about the emotional pain should give us great comfort.
Once we believe it, it will not take long to learn how to use it to guide us to a completely different perspective on it.
Step 3 – Change of perspective
“Learn to become still. And to take your attention away from what you don’t want, and all the emotional charge around it, and place your attention on what you wish to experience.”– Michael Beckwith
If you give it a try and practice for a while looking at the emotional pain as a guidance system, you will achieve a change of perspective.
Can you imagine a life where you truly use any emotional discomfort and pain to examine the content of your mind and make the necessary changes?
Working with your thoughts is going directly to the cause; a place where true change can happen.
If we ignore the signals and try to get rid of the emotional pain, we are trying to change the effects. We might see some marginal results, but they will not be lasting or sustainable.
Even if you manage to control the emotional pain this time, it will escape again and it will keep re-visiting until the cause or the root of it is changed.
This is a big shift, but if correctly understood and implemented, it could make your life seem miraculous.
So, the next time you feel that uncomfortable feeling creeping up for no apparent reason, try ignoring the bodily sensations and go directly to your mind and explore.
Search and search for any thoughts that might be causing the feeling.
Often, you will be surprised what you will find in your mind.
Also, once you identify the thoughts, you don’t even need to change anything.
Just the awareness of it and the realization of the cause-and-effect relationship makes the emotional pain disappear.
“Not till your thoughts cease all their branching here and there, not till you abandon all thoughts of seeking for something, not till your mind is motionless as wood or stone, will you be on the right road to the Gate.”― Huang Po, The Zen Teaching of Huang PO: On the Transmission of Mind
I hope you have enjoyed this article. If you have any comments or feedback about how to get rid of emotional pain, please leave it below. I would love to hear your methods or ways of dealing with the pain.